If you remember this game, you're old enough.

I used to play this all the time when we had Windows 95! When I found this picture yesterday I looked up the game and played it. Oh, what fun! 

Ski Free!

My mom's "catchphrase" when I was a kid was "Patience is a virtue." I wanted to throw something every time she said it.

Love you, Mom. I appreciate it now :)

It's under there somewhere...

Apparently this is the wife of the Angry Birds creator.

There were 130 obituaries in today's paper. Picture 1 is an example of a normal Sunday. Picture 2 is what I did yesterday. 99 of them.

OMG

Super Fast Spray Paint Artist

I feel ya.

Merry Christmas :)

Terrible, but the best laugh I've had all day.

Daaang.

OMG THESE ARE SPIDERS IN A TREE.

"An unexpected side-effect of the 2010 flooding in parts of Sindh, Pakistan, was that millions of spiders climbed up into the trees to escape the rising flood waters; because of the scale of the flooding and the fact that the water took so long to recede, many trees became cocooned in spiders webs. People in the area had never seen this phenomenon before, but they also reported that there were less mosquitos than they would have expected, given the amount of standing water that was left. Not being bitten by mosquitoes was one small blessing for people that had lost everything in the floods. (© Russell Watkins)"

I signed up for classes again today.

I'm a little sorry...

I feel like I should apologize for the vulgarity on my profile as of late.

I realize it is offensive to many, and I hope I have not scarred anyone too deeply.

I still find it extremely hilarious, however. So I guess that means I'm not really that sorry...

How appropriate for today.

Sometimes I feel as if I am the only person that appreciates corny jokes like this. Maybe I am just a child.

My bobby pins truly are everywhere. And I can never find any.

The benefits of LSD

What's more valuable...?

...A pile of dirt, or a piece of gold?

But to a seed...

That deserves one laugh. Ha.

This illustrates my interest in Shakespeare.

Beatle-mania :)

This is seriously cool. I'm going to use this... somehow...

Multi-Color Search Lab

It's all about perception

 "The primary cause of unhappiness is not the situation, but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is." ~Eckhart Tolle.

I'm only posting this because this is me. This is something I would do. YET I HAVE FRIENDS

I should have learned this a long time ago.

Someone's watching out for me

   This morning it snowed for the first time this year.There wasn't very much; just a light, sparse powdering in random spots. I didn't think the roads would be that slick, but I drove a little more cautiously anyway on my way to work.
   Traffic was really bad on the interstate,which is normal, but as I was driving through downtown (which is usually quite clear) I found myself stuck in standstill traffic three blocks away from work, with four minutes left to get parked and in the building before I would be considered late. I forced myself to mentally slow down, especially since the roads were more icy in town than they had been on the interstate.
   I braked for a stoplight, trying to keep a distance of about 40 or 50 feet between me and the new VW Jetta in front of me, but my brakes locked up and I slid. Fast. Out of control. I couldn't veer off to the side; I couldn't do anything.
   "Oh God, no. No. No."
   I wasn't consciously asking God for help. I was taking his name in vain as a statement of dismay. I was about to lay on the horn when the brakes grabbed the solid pavement and I jerked to a stop -- six inches away from the Jetta's bumper.
   People have a tendency to exaggerate when things like this happen, but I think it's safe to say I'm being generous by describing a six-inch gap between me and the other car. I've never, ever in my life, come that close to a wreck, and it horrified me.
   I think my heart rate's been raised enough that I can skip my run tonight.
   I'm the type of person that stays calm under unexpected pressure like that; and then as soon as the danger is past, I lose it and usually end up crying. I drove like a grandma the rest of the way to work and fought back the tears as I turned into the parking lot. I wouldn't have killed or seriously hurt anyone if I had crashed into the back of the Jetta; I wasn't going that fast. Cosmetic (and emotional) damage likely would have been the only outcome. I wanted to cry from relief. There was absolutely no reason for the car to stop all of a sudden, but somehow it did.
   I believe with all my heart that God was 1) protecting me, like he always has, 2) trying to wake me up, and 3) showing me that he isn't spiteful. I didn't deserve his help, but he stepped in just in time. I don't pray or read my Bible like I should, or like I used to; but he's still there. He's watching out for me, and he still loves me even though I ignore him so much.
   I'm really, quite a stupid person sometimes.

This morning I overheard this joke from the cubicle across the hall from me. I don't expect many people to get it.

"Paul McCartney has a recurring dream: what is it? That everyone walks out of his concert; or that he loses his voice permanently?

"That a lady is beating him over the head with a prosthetic leg."

Dear Dad,
If I can't even get my own skinny jeans off, neither can the rapist.

This was highly entertaining to me. I am such a child.

Draw a Stick Man

Actually, I did this about an hour ago...

First World Problems in picture

First World Problems

 -- My hand is too fat to shove into the Pringles can so I am forced to tilt it.
-- I can't fit a whole Pringle in my mouth at once without looking like a slob so I have to bite it in half. And they aren't shaped to allow that.
-- I didn't have a #$%& childhood, so I can't turn my pain into art.
-- I had too much food for lunch and now I'm tired.
-- I forgot to take my phone to the bathroom and I was bored the entire time.
-- I'm kind of hungry, but my roommate has guests over and if I go into the kitchen, I'll have to introduce myself.
-- I had to find my own boyfriend because my culture doesn't practice arranged marriages.
-- I accidentally clicked on iTunes and had to wait two minutes for it to open before I could close it.
-- My GPS made me drive through the ghetto.
-- I'm trying to stop at a red light so I can text, but I keep hitting all the greens.
-- I can't hear the TV while I'm digging around in that biodegradable Sun Chips bag.
-- The Domino's Pizza Tracker isn't working. Now I don't know when to put my pants on.
-- My laptop battery is almost dead, but the charger is over there.

-- I'm too lazy to write about my own First World Problems, so I ripped most of these off from someone else.

This is how I felt this morning. Even though I fell asleep on the couch at 8 last night and Dylan carried me to bed.

Every day I spend with him is a little better than the last.

No one will ever get me quite like she does...

   This morning Dylan and I took my mommy to the airport so she could fly back home. We all got together at my grandparents' house in Tennessee, and she came back to Kansas City to see my little house and hang out for a couple of days.
   She was supposed to be on vacation, but instead she cleaned the entire apartment (granted, it's not that big) so thoroughly I was a little embarrassed I hadn't cleaned it like that myself. We are talking, wiping down the ceiling fan and light fixtures and pouring Drano down the tub. She cooked meals for us; baked cookies; bought us groceries; filled the gas tank in the car; and tried to buy us a microwave but purchased a nice bed comforter from Bed, Bath and Beyond instead.
   When I was a kid, we did nearly everything together. We enjoyed shopping and baking and watching the Food Network together; talking about the men in our lives, cussing out backstabbing friends to each other, encouraging each other that we are much more beautiful than we think. We operate on pretty much the same wavelength. We do things at the same speed. We think the same way. We're both relatively quiet. We pick up on the same nonverbal cues. I share similarities like this with other friends, but no one else is on the same level as my mom.
   The last time I saw her was Christmas 2010, and I don't know when I'll see her again. Leaving her at the airport this morning was harder than I had anticipated, and I felt very alone as I walked away.
  When she got back to Nevada she texted me to say, "Because of our shared DNA it's impossible to find a friend to fill your shoes. I'll make do with what's here, but it isn't the same."
  Goodbyes suck.
  I hate them more than ANYTHING in this world, and that is not an overstatement.

My mother dear didn't really care for The Walking Dead [rephrase: she looked horrified at the end of the episode] but she did enjoy The Big Bang Theory. All is not lost!!

It's the real-life version of Up!! :)

House

So heartwarming!

When Everyday Objects Come Alive

Expectation vs. Reality

Dr. Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory. He's funny in real life too!

I waste an insane amount of time. Watching The Big Bang Theory. Surfing the internet. Playing on my phone. But... I don't care.

I'm "quite" during games, too.

You're an idiot. Thanks .

This is precious to me.

"Charley was preceded in death by Virginia, his wife of 72 years, just last spring.  Ginny, an impatient woman was probably telling him to get it moving, and Grandpa always did what she asked."

Things I learned today.

This is how I do algebra.

Depressing.

"On November 3, 2011, Jerry N. Miner, went from paradise in Maui to paradise in Heaven while vacationing with his wife Barbara...."

Go away.

Some days I just want to cry. For absolutely no (or the stupidest) reason. At the wrong time. In the worst location.

Everyone is being rude today.

This is why I'm friendly!

The other day my Facebook status was "Sometimes it pays to be a little extra cheerful. You never know who might need that smile." At work that day, I had called a funeral director to confirm an obituary; he sounded tired and stressed out, probably from dealing with the family. I was cheery and made him laugh, and later he emailed me to thank me for always being so friendly.

This morning I was really dreading coming into work because I figured there would be at least 20 obituaries waiting for me. I wasn't feeling very chipper, but I put on a face and acted that way. I emailed a funeral home to let them know I got the obituary they sent, and I used exclamation marks, "Happy Saturday!" and a smiley face, like I always do (who cares if emoticons aren't very professional? Someone's gotta make this job a little less morbid). The director emailed me back with, "I always enjoy when you get my obits. You are such a cheerful person. Have a great day."

And that's just what I needed to put a smile on my face.

People do notice whether you're nice or not. My mom always told me if I wanted friends, I had to show myself to be friendly. People don't always respond, and they may growl and ignore your happy greeting, but they pay attention. Being friendly makes such an impression, and it makes it worth it a thousand times over when someone is nice to you in return.

Ah.

Using knives, tweezers and surgical tools, Brian Dettmer carves one page at a time. Nothing inside the out-of-date encyclopedias, medical journals, illustration books, or dictionaries is relocated or implanted, only removed.

I love you, Dylan Rada.

Today marks 8 months with my best friend.

There are no limits to what an obituary can say.

"Carol Williamson Dias, after 84 years of a long and full life, died on October 31st 2011.  October 31st was a fitting day to pass on, for someone who so thoroughly loved candy...."

It's a cup-half-full sort of day

Today, I'm choosing to look at the bright side of life.

It's all about perception, really. Everything has at least two sides, and I can pick which side to stare at.

 I blame a lot of unhappiness on circumstances ("I'm tired" "People were rude to me at work"). But I don't have to let those circumstances ruin the rest of my day. Just gotta clean the glasses and see things a little differently.

 This is extremely applicable to me, since I deal with so much death, so closely, so often. Especially when I do obits for kids my age, or toddlers, or babies, or parents with young children (which I have done far too many of lately) I am reminded that life is precious and I am blessed.





"...Serenity to accept the things I cannot change."

Tears are healing. I take comfort in that. At least I still feel.

I know Halloween is over, but I wish I had done something like this...